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Within any sport or fraternity there is a certain amount of animosity and friction amongst participants and coaches... whether because of past grievances or just because of the nature of the activity - it is always present. When I started this blog, I was determined that it not become a medium to voice unconstructive frustrations and complains of others, but rather that it be a means of communicating to those reading my love of sculling, rowing and coaching and to get some feedback on what I'm doing and thinking. Writing about the great times I've had (and am having) is becoming an ever more amazing experience... it seems to solidify the good times and enable me to reflect objectively on the bad. Frustrations do seem to creep in though, and I sometimes find myself obsessed very negative thoughts and ideas that are counter-productive to the objectives of training, racing and this sport in general. I just have to regard it as an outsider... objectively... learn from it and let it go.
A few things happened last season (I'm not going to mention them... there are those that know what I'm talking about) that made me take a good hard look at why I coach and row. It was the first time that politics and underhandedness in sport had affected me in such a personal way. I lost some good friends (if they were ever friends to begin with) and began to coach and row for very different reasons - to get back at those few people and out-perform them.
I began to projecting my frustrations through the athletes I coached, and I realise how unfair and selfish it was of me. All I can ask of the kids that I teach are to do their best and if we come out on top... awesome. If not, I hope they have fun competing and partaking in the sport that I love.
I had a talk with the some of the crews (the two that I'm coaching) about 2 weeks ago where I asked all of them to list their goals for the season... not just performance targets, but what they wanted to get out of the season and what they expected to get out of me. I was impressed that all of them defined success and accomplishment as something other than winning a gold medal at Champs. Less than 10% of those that race at SA Champs in March every year win a medal... so by defining success as winning at that regatta, we're implying that 90% of the junior rowers in this country are losers and failures.
Every discussion came down to us enjoying the competition and having fun... and that included me. No more trying to beat those that have wronged me in the past ... it's water under the bridge (karma's a biaatch, so it's out of my hands). We've all got to learn to let it go and carry on... it's the only way that we'll stay sane and the only way that we're going to get enjoyment and accomplishment out of this season. If we do this, we'll have an awesome time and fond memories of our experiences together. The good performances will come in time... without us even knowing it.
2 comments:
Success means different things to different peolpe.. and for some peolpe its ,its just making a crew.. for others its just enjoing the sport, for some its to make the top crew.. and getting a medal in that A final.But its so hard to stay motivated in this sport .. when one hasent achieved their first goal.... it makes coming to training that much harder.. it makes staying inspired that much more meaningless.. its so easy to say " ok, i give up" but some girls in this age group have kept going..even though they JUST missed that 'top spot', or got dropped as a surprise or came SECOND not first.. its so hard for those girls to carry on wanting that " success" , as they cant. they feel limited and therefore lose ambition.they havent succeeded so , why try harder?for few , winning means something else..and if they fail that , the "first round" it makes trying to better yourself and beat that girl on the ergo hard, when you've already been "placed." failing 'round one' feels like failer so way try aim for that goal when u cant... i think that true success is just coming to training when u feel like u've failed.. cause pushing yourself on that session or on that ergo is so much more awarding than getting a medal.. a medal u win that one day , and its over.. getting up,and pushing yourself 6 sessions a week means so much more than that one race.i feel like ive failed, but i still try give 100% when i row. ya ya everyone hits rock bottom and just cant care that session, yet the next session they try harder.
i know u say that winning at sa champs shouldnt be success for all.. yet for that few that have wanted it, for so long.. and caint get it, its hard for them to stay motivated.that 'medal' is different things to different peolpe ,but its just hard to still try wanting somethimg else, when u dont really want it .. u still want YOUR "medal" what ever it may be...
i know u have to better the situation your in, its just hard when that wasnt your aim and goal at first
the coaches need to see ..girls that dont want to try, yet ALWAYS do...thats proof of real success...
I understand how hard this all is... especially in a sports culture where winning is prized so much. John and myself have been through what you guys are going through and we understand the strength of character and level of commitment needed to pull yourself back up after missing out on an aspiration.
Girls that don't want to try, but do it anyway... it's not only the proof of success (or successes to come), but testament to a will that won't allow itself to be beaten or broken... that's what this sport teaches you. Because while it takes courage and mental toughness to win, that effort is nothing compared to what it takes to pick yourself up again after a loss.
"Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even." - Mohammed Ali
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